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April 8, 2008
As I’ve said before, trying to recap something like March Madness is truly challenging work. Given the characters, emotion, variety and spectacle inherent in thethree-week event, it’s almost impossible to responsibly cover everything. Which is of course why we call it March Madness, and before we all
vomit from the term’s overexposure, I'm taking the easy way out (again) and tying it all up with a few simple awards. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my esteemed pleasure to present you with the Second Annual Aaron M. Hoopy Awards. (Not to be confused, of course, with the George C. Hoopy Award, given annually for exemplary service to the West Shore, Pennsylvania Chamber of Commerce). *Note: Much of this was written before and during the national final. In keeping with that, I’ve decided to spread the trophies around, though almost every award could have gone to Mario Chalmers and probably would have had I written it all after the fact. Now back to the show. Ahem... The envelopes please...
The Hampton University Pirates Award For Best Upset Davidson Wildcats In most years this would go to a team like Siena, San Diego or Western Kentucky, 12 and 13 seeds that won games few predicted they could or would. But this year we were blessed with an upset story of much greater proportion. Stephen Curry and the ‘Cats not only knocked off West Coast Conference champ Gonzaga, they bounced Big East champ Georgetown and Big 10 winner Wisconsin. Then they came within a shot of sending National Champion and Big 12 winner Kansas home early. Even beyond Curry, that team really seemed like it belonged.
The God Shammgod Award For Best Name Longar Longar, Oklahoma Its eerie simplicity coupled with his winning the LaKendrick Longmire Award in my annual names of the tournament list, make this the obvious choice. The fact that his Sooners didn’t spend longar in the tournament is too bad, but this just proves you don’t always have to win a lot of games to make a name for yourself.
The Jerry Tarkanian Award For Most Entertaining Coach Rick Pitino, Louisville Pitino wins this award for the simple fact that he’s been in the game more than 20 years and still screams like a 12-year-old throwing a temper tantrum. During Louisville’s Elite Eight loss to UNC (a highly-underrated game, by the way) he appeared to be on the verge of a full-blown aneurysm about, oh, I’d say the whole time. The fact that Pitino’s still that crazy after all these years is what earned him the hardware here. Entertaining as hell is all that guy is.
The Jim Valvano Memorial Award For Best Game West Region, Opening Round: Western Kentucky vs. Drake This was just one of the gems the folks in Tampa Bay got to enjoy that fateful Friday, but this one had it all. Two overtimes, countless late lead changes, and over course Ty Rogers’ game-winning buzzer beater, a play we’ll undoubtedly be watching over and over again in CBS promos for years to come. Of course the final was a rare beauty too, with the whole first overtime in more than a decade, buzzer-beating three to tie thing.
The Luther Vandross Memorial Award For One Shining Moment
Ty Rogers, Western Kentucky His ticket was punched the minute he lifted up and released the ball. Rogers said later he knew absolutely that the 25-30 foot desperation three was going in the second it left his hand. The rest of us weren’t so sure, but that play was without a doubt an instant classic. That it capped arguably the best game of the tournament, as I’ve suggested above, only makes it that much better. Of course Chalmers could easily take this one, too. His shot was just as clutch and much bigger in the grand scheme.
The Jimmy The Greek Award For Most Uncomfortable Thing Said By A Commentator Bill Raftery, CBS I’m in no way suggesting Raftery is racist, but he definitely almost burned himself in a big way during West Virginia’s Sweet 16 tilt with Xavier by saying, in reference to Mountaineers forward Joe Alexander: “He’s got surprisingly good ups for a... He stopped himself there. I can’t prove it since he never actually said it, but the awkward silence that followed and Raftery’s apology leads me to believe with great certainty that the next two words were absolutely going to be “white guy.” Yikes.
The Dugan Fife Award For Most Likeable Player Joe Alexander, West Virginia Alexander was exactly the kind of player true fans of this tournament love. Fundamentally sound, generally unknown before the Dance started and took out arguably the most hated team around, the Duke Blue Devils. Plus he had some international flavour (having grown up in China) and ears that undoubtedly brought forth many fond memories of Dumbo or Babar cartoons for many of us.
The Renaldo Balkman Award For Best/Worst Hair Andre Allen, Memphis Whether it’s the faux-hawk hair mound or ridiculously complex shaving patterns, Allen was perpetually perplexing when it came to matters of the ‘do. If he spent half as much time on free throws as he does getting his top styled, maybe he wouldn’t be shooting less than 40 per cent from the stripe and glued to the bench during the National Championship.
The Adam Morrison Award For Best/Worst Facial Hair Steven Hill, Arkansas Hill could easily have made a clean sweep of all hair-related categories, but we here at Hoopy Awards central believe in spreading the love, or something like that. Hill’s emo-style mop top was bad enough, but the mountain man beard was just flat out not working. Just because you go to school in Arkansas doesn’t mean you can look like a some sort of hermit. It was like he went to a stylist and said, “Give me the Chris Kaman."
The Bobby Huggins Award For Biggest Disappointment Duke Blue Devils I should consider renaming this award given the way Huggins turned around two programs (Kansas State and West Virginia) in as many years, but first I have to run that by the Awards committee. So until that gets approved, maybe for next March, Coach K and his crew will have to carry the hardware sporting the name of the coach whose team bounced their own. For the Blue Devils – who narrowly beat Belmont in the first round – the second round dismissal marked consecutive complete tournament embarrassments. Not good for an allegedly elite program.
The Harold ‘The Show’ Arceneaux Award For Big Game Performance(s) Jerel McNeal, Marquette It was early in the tournament and mostly in a losing cause, but if you didn’t see Marquette’s Jerel McNeal play in the first two rounds, you really missed out. He put up 20 points in the Eagles’ first-round win over Kentucky and 30 to go with eight rebounds in a heartbreaking loss to Stanford. McNeal was creative and confident with every play, reminiscent of a former Marquette star Dwayne Wade.
The Pepto-Bismol Gutsiest Performance Award Tyler Hansbrough, North Carolina Yeah, I know it’s not very creative. Hell, it’s not the least bit creative. Still, as good a team as UNC had, it was Psycho T that even had them in a position to be thumped by Kansas. He battled on every play, and has tapped every ounce of potential from that 6’9” frame. A team full of players like him would be simply unstoppable and until they played the Jayhawks, so were the Tar Heels.
The Danny Manning Award For Most Outstanding Player
Sherron Collins, Kansas I know Chalmers got the real award, and certainly deserved it, but there’s no way the Jayhawks win anything without Collins. For all Kansas’ length and experience, it was the 5’10” sophomore point guard who brought the lunch box for the team, and he played like a poor man’s Ty Lawson, using his stocky football frame as a virtual wrecking ball up and down the floor. Whenever Bill Self wanted a different look, any look, Collins came in and scrapped, grabbed loose balls, hit threes and took it to the basket with almost no regard for his personal safety. He played out of control sometimes, yes, but most of the time he was the control. He’s also the one that fed Chalmers the ball, so in a very direct way he gets the historical assist on Kansas’ One Shining Moment.
Cue the music...
Okay, so now that’s really it for another year. No more analysis, speculation, or rehashing of events that you no longer think or care about. Just the winners, losers and memories of another NCAA tournament, triggered by a few lingering twitches that come with this thing we affectionately call Spring Psychosis. Thanks for reading and until next year, try to keep it sane.
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